What does it mean to engage in FIERCE CONDUCT? What does it mean to speak and act deliberately? How does one actively engage with others?
Think back. Have you had someone in your life – a parent, an aunt, a teacher – who took an significant interest in you, someone who made it obvious that he or she liked you cared about you? Do you remember anyone life that in your life? If you do, then you probably recall that you liked and respected that person, felt affection towards that person, and wanted to be around that person – and might have even wanted to help that person with whatever activities he or she was involved in – that’s what we’re talking about fostering.
Let me suggest something – that person back then was probably – no not probably – that person was most assuredly acting FIERCELY, engaging in FIERCE CONDUCT.
For our purpose here FIERCE means Focused, Inspired, Energized, Ready, Confident, and Enthused.
Perhaps you’ve also been around people, who had some influence or authority over you, who were stand-offish, aloof, cold and secret about everything – or who were definitely unlikeable in a variety of ways, not caring at all. And you may remember how you felt about them. Did you feel like helping them much? Probably not. These folks were anything but FIERCE in their conduct.
TO WIN IN LIFE – EXUDE CONFIDENCE & BEHAVE FIERCELY – LIKE JOHN WAYNE.
Anyone can learn to be more confident. And it’s a skill we can teach ourselves.
Begin by understanding that confidence is an ability people are born without, it does not come naturally. In fact, being shy and cautious is the natural human state. Shy and cautious is how people in early times lived long enough to pass on their genes. You had to be cautious to survive. But the things our very long ago ancestors needed to worry about are not the things we need to worry about today.
So, how do you teach yourself to be more confident?
1. Put your thoughts in their place.
Researchers tell us that the average human has 65,000 thoughts every day and 85 to 90 percent of them are negative – things to worry about or fear. These warnings to ourselves are left over from our cave-dwelling past. It makes sense – if we stick our hand in a flame our brain wants to make sure we don’t ever do that again. But this survival mechanism works against us because it causes us to focus on fears rather than hopes or dreams.
The point is to be aware that your brain works this way, and keep that negativity in proportion. Actively realize is your thoughts are just thoughts, they don’t necessarily represent objective reality.
2. Begin at the end.
Know where you want to go. Everything you do should be leading you where you want to go.
3. Start with gratitude.
Begin the day by thinking about some of the things you have to be grateful for. Big True Fact: Most of the 7 billion people in the world won’t have the opportunities you have, probably ever. If you start out with that perspective, you’ll be in the right frame of mind for the rest of the day.
4. Take a daily step outside your comfort zone.
There’s a funny thing about comfort zones. If we step outside them on a regular basis, they expand. This is good. If we stay within them, they shrink. This is bad. Avoid getting trapped inside a shrinking comfort zone by pushing yourself to do things that are outside it.
5. Remember: Dogs don’t chase parked cars.
If you’re running into opposition, questions, and doubts, there’s probably a good reason – you’re going somewhere. That doesn’t mean you should ignore warning signs, but it does mean you should put those negatives in perspective. If you make changes and challenge the status quo from time to time, that will be good. That will help you grow and do great things.
6. Get ready to bounce back.
It’s never failure that destroys our confidence. It’s not getting back up. Take the lesson, get back up, and go fiercely at it again. Remember failure had a good side. It teaches us lessons for future attempts. Baseball players with the biggest home run records also have the biggest strikeout records. Taking more swings gets you where you want to go.
7. Find a mentor.
Whatever you’ve set out to do, there are likely others who’ve done it first and who can offer you useful advice or at least serve as role models. Find those people and learn as much from them as you can.
8. Choose your companions wisely.
Another Big True Fact: Your outlook – negative or positive – will be the average of the five people you spend the most time with. So be careful who you hang out with. Make sure you’re hanging out with people who FIERCELY encourage you and lift you up.
9. Do your homework.
In almost any situation, preparation can help boost your confidence. Have to give a speech? Practice it several times, record yourself, and listen.
10. Get plenty of rest and exercise.
There’s ample evidence that getting enough sleep, exercise, along with good nutrition profoundly affects both your mood and your effectiveness. Moderate exercise three times a week for 20 minutes does great things for the mind and body and it also helps ward off Alzheimer’s and depression which is very good.
When you breathe heavily you saturate your brain with oxygen, and that makes you more awake and aware. It’s very important to breathe deeply in a tense situation because it will help you realize that you really do have a lot of control over your body and your emotions.
12. Be willing to fake it.
While you never pretend to have qualifications or experience that you lack, you probably do have most of the skills you need – and can likely figure out the rest. Never hang back by assuming you need to have vast experience for an upcoming event or experience. Just start and go for it. That’s the FIERCE CONDUCT way.
13. Remember to ask for help.
Assume people have no idea about what you want. Then educate them. FIERCELY tell them. Once people know what you want, and that you want their help – because you have asked for their help – you may be surprised at how forthcoming they are. People are really flattered when you ask for advice and support. And if someone says no you can always ask someone else. So ask.
That’s it for this edition. Now go have a FIERCE CONDUCT day.