ANGER & BUSINESS ANGER

Oct 2015

What about business anger?

Wikipedia and I believe that anger is a completely natural emotion that we all experience. Despite this fact however it can still be unpleasant and lead to irrational behavior and impaired judgement, potentially resulting in emotional or physical pain. While some forms of anger are perfectly healthy and normal, others pose more of a serious problem. Knowing about how anger can manifest itself differently and understanding the different types of anger as well as the different ways individuals can react to them can help you to control your own and understand the reactions in others.

Three types of anger are recognized by psychologists: The first form of anger, named “hasty and sudden anger” is connected to the impulse for self-preservation. It is shared between both human and non-human animals, and it occurs when the animal is tormented or trapped. The second type of anger is named “settled and deliberate” anger and is a reaction to perceived deliberate harm or unfair treatment by others. These two forms of anger are episodic. The third type of anger is called “dispositional” and is related more to character traits than to instincts or cognitions. Irritability, sullenness and churlishness are examples of the last form of anger.

Psychologists view anger as a primary, natural, and mature emotion experienced by virtually all humans at times, and as something that has functional value for survival. Anger can mobilize psychological resources for corrective action. Uncontrolled anger can, however, negatively affect personal or social well-being. While many philosophers and writers have warned against the spontaneous and uncontrolled fits of anger, there has been disagreement over the intrinsic value of anger. The issue of dealing with anger has been written about since the times of the earliest philosophers, but modern psychologists, in contrast to earlier writers, have also pointed out the possible harmful effects of suppressing anger. And of course, displays of anger can be used as a manipulation strategy for social influence.

The biggest problem with anger is unresolved anger. Anger that festers and destroys ordinary living is unresolved anger and it can wreak havoc over lives and it can of course ruin the functioning and even the existence of an otherwise well managed business enterprise – when those who operate it are caught up in the negative downward spiral of anger left unresolved. We might call this Business Anger.

How do you know if you have unresolved anger? Good question as many who suffer from this malady do not know that they do suffer from the malady. Here’s a quick test.

Think back to a time when someone hurt you – either physically or mentally or when you found the consequences of some event devastating and anger producing. As you are thinking back right now, what do you feel? As you recall this person or event do you feel resentment? Do you get upset and emotional? If so, guess what, you have unresolved anger.

As mentioned above, your unresolved anger might be associated with your work. If you feel upset when driving to work, if you suffer chronic frustration because things are not as you wish them to be too much of the time…if you are severely irritated with bad results from your marketing or the productivity of those you supervise…then obviously you must rework your plans and strategies and your implementation behaviors until things get better and your frustration level subsides.

If you apply all that you know and things do not improve then by all means get some outside input from people who might be able to see things you cannot and offer supportive suggestions and remedies.

Clearly, if an anger producing event you seem not to be able to let go of is in any way connected to the operation of your business – then you must take remedial steps – because the performance of your business is being negatively affected by the inner turmoil affiliated with this event. To resolve the turmoil, you must get past your anger about whatever happened in the past, or is still happened in the present, so you and your business can proceed on a healthy and prosperous path.

Here’s how to do that.

First, tell your angry story to yourself fully and completely. Sit on the edge of your chair and for a moment let it barrel through your mind like an out-of-control train careening down the tracks.

Second, take a big deep breath and stand up. Start recognizing and believing that the story you just reviewed no longer serves you. Yes, what happened happened or what is still happening is still happening. But how much longer are you going to let it be your ball and chain?

Third, shake off the negativity with these strategies that help you soften the story. Open up with compassion to everyone involved, including yourself, especially yourself. Recognize that you are bringing the past bad feeling into your life experience by repeating the story endlessly. So stop that right now. Bring your full attention into the sensations you are experiencing in the moment, today, not the past which is over, finished and done. Even yesterday is over with, finished and done. Even the last minute is over with, finished and done.

Finally, commit to bringing all your actions in alignment with what you really, really want. And that is, to be free in the present to proceed in all your actions fully in charge of what you experience today in every way. An affirmation may be useful. “I am totally in charge of my life experience and today I choose happiness.” And if all else fails and you are still reliving old anger incidents, put a big rubber band on your wrist and whenever misplaced anger rears its ugly head, snap the rubber band real hard. Works every time.

There you go. Now you know all about anger, and how to live free of the negativity of anger left unresolved.